A boat on the water...

A beautiful thing happened to tonight... I had a break through with Luke and it has not been an easy road to get there.  Luke is sweet, caring, quiet, strong, easy going and at the same time, very stuck in his ways.  Luke learns differently than most because he is high-functioning Autistic.  They call Autism a disability but I don't think it is at all.  It is just that he learns differently and the traditional schools are not equipped to teach these children with autism.  They are visual learners much like the rest of us but have developed a spectrum of other types of issues that impair them and make it harder to learn.  It is like trying to listen to an AM radio station with a lot of static.  You really have to focus on the words and block out the white noise.  Well, the white noise to Luke are his sensory issues (sounds being louder than what you and I hear, colors being brighter, touch being more sensitive, taste being stronger, etc), his general and social anxiety,  and his overactive mind distracting him (ADD.)

When I decided I wanted to be a Mom, I didn't know that being a Mom would mean I had to become a master of time and people management,  that I would have to multitask more than my previous "job" in sales at Dell, and that I would need to become an honest to god, teacher.  I knew I would need to teach life lessons and basics but not have to have practically a teaching degree!  The playdates, socialization, and everyday life come easy, but the rest do not.  When you give birth to a child, you think you are the one that will be teaching them about the world, but little do you know, that they will teaching you about the world.

The more podcasts I listen to, articles and books I read and most importantly, time I spend with Luke, listening, watching and learning.....  I have realized that if he is going to learn quickly, it needs to be visual and not auditory.  For the first half of this school year, I trusted that the his wonderful teachers and Speech therapists would teach him.  Well they do a wonderful job of teaching and Luke has learned since he started school in September but he is not getting it as quickly as Steve and I would of hoped.  He is still having a hard time reading and his lack of focus and social anxieties is holding him back in math and other subjects .  The good news is that he gets math, the bad news is that unless he tunes out all of the "noise," he can't get it done correctly.

So this is where all of my extra hours of learning and researching how to teach are paying off....   and not only that, where I really need to put into action what I have learned if I want to make a difference.  They say "your life is a result of the choices you make..."  I have learned that it is my job as his parent to understand his challenges and show him how to do it.... and not only that, make it fun!  This past month I have introduced to Luke to a lot of things. We have listened to guided meditations which has taught him how to sort through and talk about some of  "the pictures in the head."  We have done breathing exercises to calm him and get his mind off of his anxieties for the moment.  We have created a "mind map" as a way of learning instead of boring old black text on white paper.  I have showed him how to create the things he has seen of TV or seen someone else do and been afraid to try.  I have taught him what HE needs to do in order to focus and learn.  Everyone learns differently and I am trying to become an expert so I can help Luke gain the wisdom he needs to become successful in school and life.

Tonight, as he was complaining about the homework he needed to do, I brought him up to his room.  Being positive and telling him how much I love spending that alone time with him, and trying not think about how grumpy he was being. He is always like this around homework time and I don't blame him!  I would not like to do homework either if it was hard to focus and I didn't understand any of the directions or word on the papers.  I have ADD and learning disabilities too, I UNDERSTAND what he is going through.... I get it.  But  like I said, they are not disibilities, they are just different ways of learning.  If I use my so called "disabilities" as a crutch or an excuse, I would never accomplish anything.  Instead, I just spent some time learning and thinking about what I learned and then combined it with experience and  many years of that....  over and over.... still learning to this day...reading, researching, listening, experiencing, applying my knowledge, reevaluating...  And now, teaching to Luke, by EXPERIENCE most importantly and analogies so he can visualize what he hears.  My little genius of a son said to me tonight after he we finished homework when we were discussing the meaning of  what focus really is, "Mommy, it is like I am on a boat in the middle of the water and I have this paper in my hands.  This paper is my homework.  If I stop looking at the paper, it flies away [in the wind] but if I look at it again it will appear."  I was so proud when he said that because i knew that he was hearing my words and applying his knowledge in his own way.  And that is learning!!!!

This is just the beginning for me.  I still have so much more to uncover, observe, learn and teach.  I love being a Mommy.  There are hard, frustrating days but it is moments like these that I remind myself about to keep me persevering through.  I am so happy and grateful for my 3 little miracles.... they and Steve have helped me find purpose, eternal love and happiness, spiritualness,  and gratitude in my life.  I can't wait to see what new things are in store for us tomorrow....