Teaching Mindfulness

In order to teach mindfulness you need to be mindful yourself.  This is something that I have been working on daily for the past year.  It is amazing how clear your life can become when you start moving away from the busy thoughts and start focusing your attention to the present moment.  It's incredible, how truly listening to your children and putting everything down so they can see you are 100% focused on what they are staying fulfills and calms them.  In a world of so many screens and so much technology, where everything is fast and on demand, it is so important that we can put it all aside and focus on what is truly the most important thing in our lives.... the people and our experiences together.  When we can transcend and get to this peaceful place, it makes life so much more enjoyable and meaningful for all involved.  When our children see us living this way, they can start living this way also.

To practice this ourselves is hard work and a lot of perseverance.  To teach mindfulness to them is all of the above and then some.  It doesn't happen overnight.  It starts with small moments here and there, reading lots of mindful emotional IQ books, and then sure enough day by day, it starts clicking.  All of the fruits of your labor start paying off.  Luke, who has narrow interests and who is so drawn to technology starts to be ok with his "boredom."  He starts to look for forward to his "brain breaks" and his 5 minutes of breathing and being still.  He starts accepting moments as they are, more and more.  Some days better than others, but that is human nature after all. Ava calls our nature's beauty as God's Grace notices it everywhere!  We paint it in our pictures! She read a book names "Audrey Bunny" that touched her, and decides that she will not discriminate a cookie that has a different shape (by forcing her sister to trade) or switching out a bouquet of flowers with a not perfect crushed petal for one that has no flaws.  Yes, we indeed keep the bouquet with the not so perfect flower!  And then when reflecting about it at night responds to my comment of "Nothing is perfect" to "No Mom, everything IS perfect, just the way it is...even if it is different."  Even Sydney shows signs that mindfulness is sinking in.  When she was with her Occupational Therapist the other day, I was told that when she was getting startled by an unexpected noise, she looked at her OT and said " I need to do deep breaths."

When Mommy and Daddy get on the same page and we are BOTH living examples of mindfulness (some days better than others :))... negative behaviors start disappearing, self confidence rises and brains are more open to learning.  Toys are being put away after being used, dirty dishes make their way to the sink because empathy has settled in.  Ava likes it when Mommy can play and doesn't have to spend all of her time cleaning up someone else's mess.  It's magical when we can see the fruits of our labor.

Homeschooling is still an evolving work in progress but what a rewarding work in progress!  The first half of the school year I felt like I was in the dark.... trying different things and TRUSTING that it will work.  I spent months trying to get a set schedule or figure out specifically what curriculum was the best for us.  I started with Waldorf which gave me a great basis and strong foundation, implemented my own holistic ideas, moved to a bit of unschooling and following their interests, tried reward programs, incentives, and workbooks and then everything finally just fell into place.  I needed to go on that journey to get where I am now.  I was in the dark for a while just trusting God.... having faith and then He spoke to me through my children.  I know there will be ups and downs and days of doubt but looking at the big picture, I feel relief because I am starting to see the fruits of my labor.  Luke is at the targeted reading level his learning center tutor thought he would be at the end of the school year.  He still has  some way to go to be at the grade equivalent, but he is actually moving through reading levels at an above average rate.  He has built up his focus so he does not fight sitting with me and doing work, he can actually sit with me and learn AND have fun.  He was way too comfortable around me the first part of the year to do that ... I had to trick him into learning and use many incentives.  That shows that his executive function in his prefrontal cortex has greatly improved and that is awesome for anyone, let alone a child who is high functioning autistic.  I could go on about Luke, he has given me so many reasons lately to be proud but the point is, this is working!

 I went into homeschooling blindly and only on faith.  I decided to do it because I believed this was my calling and I had so many signs pointing me to this.  What I never expected was the growth that I would experience as a human being.... intellectual yes, but also broadening interests and most importantly, spiritual growth.  My children have taught me so many beautiful things the past 5 months not only about myself, but I have learned so deeply about them.  They are incredible!  Thank you Luke, Ava and Sydney!

How blessed are we that we get to go the park in the middle of the week when the rest of the world is busy at work or at school.  Have so much gratitude for the homeschooling life!